Einstein's Infinite Playlist (Or the Theory of Facebook Relativity)

Einstein's Theory of Relativity posits that time passes more slowly the closer you are to the centre of a massive object. Replace the word 'massive' with 'dull' and it also describes half the classes we've all invariably taken at some point. This means that classes with fat lecturers are going to be extremely boring.

Einstein would have been fascinated with our current technological state. The world has seemingly been kicked into ever-higher gears over the last few years. All new stuff is speedier than the last lot of... stuff. Small dense things like iPhones seem to suck all our time into them, just like a black hole. Steve Jobs sticks everything but the kitchen sink into a post-it sized lump and calls a press conference to announce his latest masterpiece that will revolutionise the way we live. Though in saying that I'm sure he'll put in a kitchen sink app in the iPhone 5.

The thing is, the faster technology gets, the more impatient the world seems to become. We are hungry for speed! It has affected our perception of time. Having movie take 2 hours to download seems like a vast expanse of time bridged only by the little green progress bar that taunts you with its inching green evil. Ahem. Rationally speaking the speed should be irrelevant - the movie will download eventually. But I want it all, and I want it now!

Queen reference? Sweet.

Every new generation of laptops, cell phones, toasters, whatever, all promise to be faster! And they are. Why have a perfectly good toaster that makes your bread crunchy and brown in 30 seconds when you can have the new iToast from Apple that does it in 25 seconds AND you can play Tetris while you wait! Our perception of the toasting would be altered and those extra 5 seconds with the old toaster would turn into an unbuttered Hell. Everything gets faster and the more technology we use, the slower everything else seems to get. Right?

So Adam, I hear you say, what is your point? And what's Einstein got to do with this?

What Einstein basically said is that the faster you go, the slower everything else seems relative to you. This is a social application of that theory but I'm sure you get the idea.

Speed does not necessarily denote a better product or experience. You will not fit more into your day simply because your new phone can do more stuff, more quickly. You will not become more efficient because your processor is 8 Ghz instead of just 4. Faster processors do have their place, I agree. Perception of time is not altered solely by technology. It is also a social thing and always has been. But technology is an important factor. Faster stuff has meant that society as a whole has seemingly sped up, and social conventions have changed. In the 21st century, faster must mean better. Digital must be better than analogue. We must all do more with our time and still make it for coffee at 4.30! Lies! An old-fashioned mix CD you make from scratch will always be more romantic than simply assembling a playlist and saying to your lover: "Hey download these." Efficiency does not a relationship make.

Perception of time changes as we age. But I wonder if the evolution of our perception will be different to that of previous generations because we grew up in a more rapidly changing world?

Before I confuse myself any further, I will end with an amusing factoid.

The humble pigeon would die of boredom while watching the Matrix. Not because Keanu Reeves has less acting talent than Megan Fox, but because pigeons perceive the world at a much higher frame-rate, so to speak. So while we see a continual moving image, the pigeon would see a slide show. Thus Einstein's Theory of Relativity is embodied by the common pigeon. And that's what he has to do with it all.

Feel free to comment! Maybe you'll make more sense of it than I have.