Mediated Communication and Relationship-Forming: Speed, Brevity, and Consideration

In a recent discussion on whether technology makes relationship-forming easier or harder, views seemed noticeably opposed. On one side of the argument stood the fact that highly mediated communication deprives exchanges of the sense of intimacy which is so important to developing a relationship. On the other stood the fact that mediation allows for more considered communication which, it was argued, can be critical in the preservation of a relationship.

Any communication other than a face-to-face conversation arguably becomes more mediated, and thus deprived of intonation, body language, and other aspects so conducive to intimacy. Such communication, however, also becomes less immediate. This has the important benefit (although some would debate whether this is truly beneficial) of allowing one to consider one's words, and decide on the best course of action before pursuing communication further. This allows for emotions to subside, arguments to be reconsidered, and for more eloquence than may otherwise be possible.

In this respect New Media offers little new. Written language as a from of communication has been with us for a considerably long time. What is perhaps a striking novelty of New Media in this regard, however, is the incessant brevity of mediated communication. Emails are typically shorter than letters, and no other exchange would naturally be confined to one hundred and sixty characters.

With this brevity comes also an increased speed of communication; text messages, for example, can be sent back and forward at a rate which gives the illusion (if not the reality) of a fluent conversation. This speed of exchange leads one to question whether communication technology is truly being used to its full potential (or any potential) of allowing for more considered communication. It may simply be the case that while communication technology affords us the opportunity to consider our communication, the social expectations that are concomitant with this technology demand a faster and faster rate of communication, leading to messages being sent with little thought. Who, after all, thinks as much when sending a text message as when sending a letter?